


zatch bell funny situations

by zzaattcchhbbeellll



Category: Zatch Bell
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2007-02-07
Updated: 2007-04-03
Packaged: 2013-11-03 17:27:47
Rating: T
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,092
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3381453/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1213220/zzaattcchhbbeellll
Summary: a lot of funny and wierd stuff happening. YAY CHAPTER 11 the crazy mixed up chapter





	1. Volcan kills zatch

CHAPTER 1 volcan kills zatch

note: thoughts are in brackets 

One day zatch was playing with volcan.

zatch:what should we do now?

volcan:lets play kill zatch with volcans missle launchers!!

zatch:that sounds like fun! how do we play again?

volcan:like this! 

volcan shoots nuclear missles at zatch

zatch:oww

volcan:wimp

zatch: i am not!!!!

volcan:they why did a cardboard box turn you to ash?

zatch:...damn

suddenly kiyo came in the door

kiyo:hi zat-oh my god

zatch:what

kiyo:why are you turned into ash

zatch:volcan killed me

kiyo:haha do you think im stupid?

zatch: no

kiyo:if volcan killed you why are you still talking

zatch:oh yeah i forgot (he is stupid)

kiyo:WHAT DID YOU SAY????!!!!

zatch:nothing

kiyo:you said i was stupid

zatch:no i didnt

kiyo:you thought it!!!!

zatch: how do you know?

kiyo:dufort gave me psychic powers

zatch:what???!!!

volcan:you are deaf zatch he said dufort gave him psychic powers

kiyo: no i didnt

volcan:yes you did

kiyo:prove it

volcan holds up a tape recorder

recorder: kiyo:dufort gave me psychic powers

kiyo:see? thats proof

volcan:?

kiyo:you said i said that dufort gave HIM psychic powers but i actually said that dufort gave ME psychic powers

zatch:ok this is getting realy confusing and im STILL DEAD!!!!

kiyo:no problem kiyo scoops up

zatchs ashified body and puts it in a plastic bag

zatch:what are you going to do???

kiyo throws zatchs ashified body into the grave yard and burys it

zatch:HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

end of chapter 


	2. kiyo gets super weapons and candy

CHAPTER 2 kiyo has super weapons note:thoughts are in brackets

one day kiyo found a lucky draw ticket on the floor and zatch found his way out of the graveyard and got his body rebuilt by using high tech stuff

kiyo: COOL!!

kiyo tries as hard as he can to rip the ticket since he didnt know what the heck it was but couldnt

kiyo: GRR STUPID TICKET

fat man: loser

kiyo: SHUTUP FATTY

the fat man started to cry

kiyo: whose the loser now

zatch: just use the stupid ticket already

kiyo: ok ok ok

A FEW DAYS LATER

kiyo got a letter

kiyo: what is this

he opened the letter

kiyo: aww man its just 100 million yen

zatch: thats a good thing you dumbass

kiyo: it is?

zatch:yes

kiyo: yay!

zatch: what are you going to do with that kinda money

kiyo: hmm

THE NEXT DAY

zatch went to eat breakfast but when he open the door an ocean of candy fly at him

zatch: what the heck????

kiyo was sitting in a small boat on top of the candy

kiyo: hi zatch! i only used half the money to fill the whole house with candy!!

zatch: WHAT???

kiyo: is that a bad thing?

zatch: not exactly

kiyo: ok then bye!

zatch:where are you going?

kiyo: to buy super weapons!!

zatch: ok bye!

A FEW HOURS LATER

kiyo: yo zatch!

zatch: what now

kiyo: look at the all the cool stuff i got

suddenly a giant plasma cannon popped out of kiyos bag and shot zatch in the face

kiyo: a bandage sure aint gonna fix that

zatch: shut up!

suzy came in the door

suzy: hi kiyo!

zatch: perfect training

kiyo: right

a giant laser cannon popped out of kiyos bag and fried suzy

zatch: man thats gotta hurt

suzy: it does

kiyo: just get out of here

end of chapter 


	3. kiyo destroys stuff

Chapter 3 kiyo destroys stuff

After kiyo got his super weapons, he always destroyed stuff. A LOT of stuff

kiyo: HAHAHA take that stupid building

BLAM!!

zatch: dont you thik youre destroying a little too much things?

kiyo: shutup zatch since when did you care about the law

zatch: oh yeah i didnt

kiyo: good so, bao zakeruga bao zakeruga bao zakeruga bao zakeruga

After about a million more bao zakerugas zatch ran out of power

zatch: oh shit im out of power

kiyo: so?

zatch: i cant use anymore bao zakerugas

kiyo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

soon the whole world heard him shout no

zeno: how did he do that

zatch: i dont know but since when did you not hate me?

zeno: oh yeah! dufort do it!

dufort starts dancing like a monkey

zeno: NOT THAT YOU FOOL!!!

dufort: why didnt you say so

zeno: i forgot! you got a problem!?

dufort: not exactly

zeno: good now shutup

dufort: i dont know how you must teach me first

zeno: GRR

volcan: you must all die!

volcan shoots 4 nuclear missles at kiyo, zatch, dufort and zeno

volcan: haha noobs a cardboard box killed you!

suddenly superman flew down and grabbed volcan

volcan: are you mad or something?!

superman: you must die you evil cardboard box thing!

superman tried to throw volcan into a volcano but volcan flipped superman and threw him into the volcano and killed him

kiyo: that was wierd

end of chapter 


	4. kiyo,zatch and zeno vs the aliens

Chapter 3 zatch, kiyo and zeno vs the aliens

zatch and zeno was playing at the park when an alien ufo hit zatch on the head

zatch: damn you!

alien1: hsfj,nvgfjkntsdukgfnjkgnvku (shut up)

zatch: what?

alien1: hsfj,nvgfjkntsdukgfnjkgnvku! (shut up!)

zeno: shut up you piece of shit!

zeno takes one of kiyos blasters and shot of alien1s head

kiyo: DAMN IT ZENO I JUST HAD THAT GUN CLEANED!!!

alien2: fjdhkflnfkfht!! (oh my god!)

alien3: uyhdshdijhgs!! (he shot of his head!)

zatch: what the heck are you talking about

zeno: retards

alien2 and alien3: djgsklnfkjynsdgfyfsjds!!!! (you killed alien1!!!)

kiyo: shut up retards!!!

a plasma cannon popped out of kiyos bag and shot of alien2 and alien3s heads

alien4: gfkldgfdjkfmkf (damn you)

kiyo: how many of these things are there

alien4:hkdhfkhdiguknfgfsjfjsgbfjszdokh (at least one million)

zatch,kiyo and zeno: what did you say?

alien4: hdhfkjfhldlkiu dkjfshkkuds (damn it they will never understand)

kiyo: time to use my ultimate weapon

a giant laser cannon popped out of kiyos bag an killed alien4

kiyo: hahahahahahaha

zatch: dude whats with the evil laugh

zeno: yeah i thought you were good

kiyo: but you are evil zeno

zeno: oh yeeaah

zatch: you are a genius kiyo!

kiyo: i know

zeno: i think everybody knows by now

alien5: sdh,fjnskdfgdkgckf (we're not all dead yet)

kiyos gun came out again and killed him

alien5: gkdgf hfhksdfhkd jkdfgdgfjifdt (ow that hurt)

alien6: jkhf (duh)

kiyo: bao zakeruga!

BLAM

alien7: fmnkj ghfnkfgkfmgkfl op hjldhlhfljhl? (hmm were there one million of us or just ten?)

alien8: fhh,hbm,hbfg (i dunno)

kiyo: zakeruga!

boom

alien7 and alien8: lfkjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj (noooooooooooooooooooo)

zatch: yay!

zeno: shaddap

zatch: why

zeno: because i said so

zatch: so?

zeno: ya so?

kiyo: this is confusing

dufort: very

victoream: melon

kiyo: who invited you?

victoream: i invited myself

kiyo: you cant do that

victoream: why?

kiyo: because its crazy

victoream: so? i am crazy anyway

zatch: yup

zeno: shoudnt this chapter be over already its getting kinda long

kiyo: we still have to kill 2 more aliens

zatch: where are those idiots anyway?

on another planet.  
the two aliens were having fun not getting killed and throwing pizza and candy at each other

end of chapter 


	5. Lunch time at the beach

Chapter 5 lunch time

zatch: kiyo can you take me to the park?

kiyo: no get lost

zatch: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

2 seconds later...the whole room was filled with zatchs tears

kiyo: damn it zatch!

zeno opened the door

zeno: hey guys! whats up

SPLASH

zeno and kiyo: zatch!!!!

zeno and kiyo chase zatch around the city for 6 hours then they got tired

kiyo: huff huff huff

zeno: huff huff huff

zatch: huff huff huff

zatch: how do we get back home???

kiyo: i dont know

zeno: i thought you were a genius

kiyo: i am

zatch: a genius who doesnt know where he lives?

kiyo: you shut up!!

zatch: no!

kiyo: yes!

zatch: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

SPLASH

the tv news: there has been a report about a small 6 year old boy wearing a skirt crying out tsunamis

SPLASH

kiyo: get back here zatch!!!!

a few hours later

zeno: sooo hungry

kiyo: need to eaaaaat

zatch: hey look the beach

zeno: cool

meanwhile kanchome was sun bathing with folgore at the beach and we all know kanchome looks like a duck

zatch: A DUCK!!!

zeno: YUMMY YUMMY DUCK!!!

kanchome: yo zatch!

kiyo, zatch and zeno took out their forks and knives

kanchome: umm why are you all looking at me like that?

CHOMP CHOMP

kanchome: ahhhhh! stop it you cannibals!!!

zatch: ZATCH HUNGRY!!!

kanchome: ahhhh!

end of chapter 


	6. megumi vs suzy

Chapter 6 megumi vs suzy

kiyo was hapily playing his gameboy when suzy cane in the door

suzy: hi kiyo

kiyo: AHHHHH

kiyo jumped out the window

zatch: isnt that dangerous?

zeno: dont worry he wont die hes the main character of this fic he cant die

zatch: you got a point

kiyo: ouch! watch what you run over you damn car!

SPLAT

zeno: see?

megumi: wheres kiyo?

suzy: ahh its you

megumi: shut up stupid

suzy: im not stupid!

kiyo,megumi,zatch and zeno: yes you are

suzy: no im not

kiyo: whats 2 + 2

suzy: one million

zatch: hey zeno i betcha she will get it wrong again

zeno: ok

megumi: next question, what is 1 x 1

suzy: 50

kiyo: of course wrong

zatch: YES!!! gimme your money zeno!!!

zeno: no

zatch: damn it

zatch: next question the answer is obvious

zeno: who does kiyo like more you or megumi

kiyo: i hate this question

megumi: me

suzy: no me

BLAM PUNCH POW KICK BOOM

kiyo: how much is the hospital bill this time

zatch: at least 999999999999999999

zeno: ya right

megumi and suzy: who do you like more kiyo

kiyo: if you need me i will be running away

kiyo: AHHHHHHHH

megumi and suzy: come back here

zeno: that was wierd

zatch: do you think he will come back???

zeno: i dont know

kiyo: finaly im safe

suzy: come here kiyo piyo

megumi: shut up

kiyo: where should i run

suzy: there you are kiyo

kiyo: ...zaker?

BZZZT

suzy: ouch

megumi: serves you right

kiyo ran away

zeno: look hes coming back

zatch: and looks like they cant find him

zeno: haha i got an idea

zeno: MEGUMI AND SUZY KIYO IS AT HIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

kiyo: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

zatch: why are you running away from your girlfriends anyway

kiyo: DAMN IT ZATCH THEY ARE NOT MY GIRLFRIENDS

zeno: whatever

end of chapter 


	7. zofis tries to rule the world

Chapter 7 zofis tries to rule the world

zofis: I WILL RULE THE WORLD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

zeno: hey thats my laugh

zofis: so? i stole it

zatch: shut up you it

zofis: I TOLD YOU IM A BOY

zeno: prove it

kiyo: ya prove it

zofis: how

kiyo: i dont know

zatch: but youre a genius

zeno: hes better than einstien

kiyo: i am?

zeno: yeah!

kiyo: coooool

zofis: uh? hello im taking over the world here

kiyo: no youre not

zofis: im not?

kiyo: yeah!

zofis: aww shit waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

kiyo: shut up baby

zofis: no you shut up

kiyo: why

zofis: because i said so

meanwhile suzy got out of the hospital

suzy: im back kiyo!

kiyo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

megumi: zatch i will give you ten bucks to kill her

zatch: ok!

zatch takes out a knife

suzy: AHHHHHHHHH

suzy runs away but zatch chases her

zatch: COME BACK HERE CRAZY I NEED MY TEN BUCKS

suzy: i thought we were in japan

zatch: NOOOOO MEGUMI CHEATED ME!!!!

zatch: im killin that girl!!!

zatch takes out a missle launcher he stole from kiyo

suzy: GO ZATCH!!!

zatch: YOU WEAKLING!!! YOU CANT SAY MY NAME!!!!

BLAM BLAM BLAM

zofis: now im taking over the world

zofis mom: no youre not

zofis: ahhh mummy!!!

zofis mom: come back here young it!!!

zofis: DAMN IT IM A BOY!!!!!

kiyo: no youre not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

megumi: nice shout

zeno: where is zatch?

zatch: I WILL DESTROY ALL THINGS so this is what it feels like to be evil

BLAM BLAM BLAM

kiyo: end of chapter

zeno: youre not supposed to say that

kiyo: oh yeah

REALY end of chapter 


	8. special chap 1 brago the baby

sorry my coms internet stopped working so i couldnt update but anyway,

This chap is kinda short and brago is the main character in this chap

well, start the movie um i mean the words?

Chapter 8 the special chap!

Brago The Baby!

audience: clap clap clap!

brago: thankyou!

zatch: why are you a baby anyway?

brago: my favorite channels are playhouse disney, nick jr, tiny tv and little kc

audience: eeeeeeewwwww

brago: now lets watch barney

audience: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

kiyo: shield your eyes!!!!

barney: barney is a dinosaur blah blah

kiyo: take this you stupid purple shit!

kiyo took out his super weapons

BLAM!!!!!

brago: why you kill barney?

kiyo: because he SUCKS!!!

brago: he is cool!

audience: no he sucks!

brago: waaaaaaaaaaa!

zeno: shutup

brago: ok

zeno: yay

brago: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

zeno: argh

zofis: now hes more of a loser

brago: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! shut up you it! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

zofis: grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

kiyo: ya shutup you it this part is funny

zofis: ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

BLAM!

kiyo: how does it blow up like that

zofis: im a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

brago: hey im still crying wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

kiyo: shut up 


	9. zatch goes to school

Chapter 9 zatch goes to school

kiyo: haha now you must feel how evil school is

zatch: damn

later in zatchs school...

teacher: what is 2 plus 2

zatch: i know i know

teacher: what

zatch: one million!

teacher: that is CORRECT

other students: huh??!!

teacher: zatch what is 1 plus 1

zatch: gameboy?

teacher: correct!

teacher: now everyone must do worksheet

everyone: yay colouring!

zatch coloured the whole sheet of paper black in half a second

other students: what???!!!

teacher: now its recess time

everyone: yaaaaay

zatch: cool! a green baseball!

zatch picked up a grenade

zatch: cool another one!

zatch picked up another grenade

after awhile he picked up 69843795743734875430579856795795876956578568745634876587538454785484567675474547435474384539 grenades

some guy: hey zatch throw me one of your baseballs!

zatch: ok!

he threw a grenade at some kid

BOOM!

zatch: what a wierd baseball i have to show kiyo!

after school...

kiyo: finally i can play maple in peace

zatch: hey kiyo!

kiyo: shit

zatch: guess what i got at school!

kiyo: a butt rash?

zatch: no, wait um yes but something else!

kiyo: WHAT!!!!!????

zatch: A BASEBALL!!!!

kiyo: dude thats a grenade

zatch: i thought you was smart

kiyo: i am!

zatch: good then this is a baseball

kiyo: why dont you activate it

zatch: ok!

click BOOM!

kiyo: twa twa twaaa

zatch: shutup 


	10. The return of the VOLCAN dun dun dun!

TADA! the amasing CHAPTER 10

The return of the volcan ... dun dun dun!

kiyo: just start the stupid words already

me: whatever...stupid

kiyo: WAT DID U CALL ME U (TOOOOT)

...loading please wait...

volcan: where is zatch house again?

kiyo: its MY house, stupid

zatch: hi volcan

volcan: where is zatch house? i need to kill him!

kiyo: DAMN IT I TOLD U ITS MY HOUSE

volcan: yah yah watever where is zatch house?

zatch: there

volcan: there where?

zatch: THERE WHERE IM POINTING YOU TINYBRAIN

volcan: err actually i dont have a brain you see, im a walking box of pocky

zatch: why do u need to go to my house anyway

kiyo: ITS MY HOUSE MINE! MINE! MINE!

zatch: AHHHHHHHHHH

PUNCH KICK POW BLAM

kiyo,zatch: ow

volcan: (wait... its zatch... I MUST KILL HIM)

volcan: die!

volcan threw one of zatchs grenades at zatch (zatch got them from chapter 9)

BOOM!

zatch: noooooo hey look its my brain

kiyo: thats just sik

zeno: just one thing... why did he explode instead of turning to ash?

kiyo: where did u come from u missed the zatch exploding

zeno: i was at the stuid place where people torture and torment u like shit

kiyo: where is that

zeno: school...

zatch: OI IM STILL DEAD!

volcan: bye bye

volcan teleports away like megaman

zeno: how the hell does he do that anyway

kiyo: i dont know even though i designed him

zatch: CAN SOMEBODY JUST HELP ME HERE

kiyo: nope

zatch: aww come on!

zeno: too bad!

kiyo,zeno: hahahahaha

zatch: hey come back here!!!!!!

end of chapter but there is still bonus pages i mean words

me: hi

kiyo: hi

zatch: hi

zeno: hi

evryone else in zatchbell: hi 


	11. The crazy mixed up chapter

kiyo,zatch,zeno and everyone else: yyyaaayyy chapter 11 

kiyo: finally after erm was it 2 or 1 month?

zatch: ehh i dont know

kiyo: damit well at least the things updated

zeno: CAN JUST START THE STUPID SHOW ALREADY!!!???

zatch: dude its not a show its just words

kiyo: yah!

zeno: whatever just start it already

kiyo: ok ok

one day kiyo went to school and got alot of homework

kiyo: shit so much homework

zatch: hahaha

kiyo: you will do it for me OR ELSE

zatch: or else what

kiyo: this!

he lights a fire and holds zatch spellbook over the fire

zatch: OKOK JUST PLEEAASSSEE DOONNNTTT BURN IT

kiyo: haha being a bookowner rocks

zatch started doing the homework

zatch: ehhh what is this

the question was some question that zatch did not know zatch: ok this says 2 plus 2 - Note: no it didnt

zatch: ok 2 plus 2 equals ehh 495847859756945767946759876958749768949867983467490579573870

so that is what zatch wrote

then later zatch gave kiyo the book but kiyo was too stupid to check the answers

so the next day kiyo got scolding from his teacher

when he got home...

kiyo: stupid zatch! dont you know what is 2 plus 2 ??

zatch: ...

kiyo: hey! im shouting at you here!

zatch: ... and he starts to drool

kiyo: what are you, stupid?

zatch: yes, i never paid attention in school

kiyo: why

zatch: 1st reason: ever since i was a baby i dream of being the mamodo king 2nd reason: ITS TOO DAMN BLOODY BORING

zeno: yah

kiyo: but that does not explain how he dont know wat is 2 plus 2

dufort: ehh actualy it does...

every zatchbell character exept dufort: WHO INVITED YOU

dufort: nobody

zeno: realy?

dufort: no. i invited myself

zeno: well who allowed you to invite youreslf

dufort: but who did not allow me to not invite myself?

kiyo: ok this is damn confusing

zatch: yeah

kiyo: lets go play zatchbell mamodo battles

everybody exept zeno and dufort: YAAAY GAMES

but... THE PS2 WAS BROKEN!!!

everybody exept zeno and dufort: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

end of chapter

kiyo: so fast...

zatch: anyway we will buy a new ps2 before the next chapter

kiyo: ok good

REAL end of chapter


End file.
